The Big-Brother syndrome has become a huge discussion issue in the late years. Mostly as a result of all terror attacks, that has been occurred around the world. But also the new technology has developed a new way to act and new options for the peoples.
This cyber-space world we are living in right now, allow the “Big-Brother” to watch every step you are talking. You're under guard 24 hours per day, all day long. The first thing you’re doing when you wake up in the morning is to switch on your sell-phone and pip you’ve got a text message. You answer the message and this is the first registration BB got on you. Then you go to work, switch on your computer and start to answer mail. These mails are saved in the space for six month or more. You become hungry and go for lunch, you pay with your VISA-card, and by ones the BB know that you have had Sushi for lunch. The rest of the day you spend by talking in your sell-phone and if you have bad luck or are a gangster, this conversation will be recorded and saved for all future.
So, that we are under watching is serious and not a joke. But I also mean that we, together, in some how, have built this community to. We want to know more about each other now than for 50 years ago. For 50 years it wasn’t so important to know who is calling before you answered the phone. Today, we can see at the display on the mobile, who is calling and then you can choose by your self, if you want to answer or not. So this technology development has also brought many new options.
Now days all the teenager have their own cell-phone, so their parents always can reach them.
When I was young, I didn’t have any mobile, but I and my friends managed any way. This enormous developing that has built has also made us dependent. We always have to be reached and knowing what the other ones are doing.
Facebook is also one thing that has developed your curious side. There you can show every one your life and you can spy on others life and what they have been doing during the day or when they broke up their relationship for example. For two years ago no one didn’t care about what the other part did, but when the options is there, right in front of you… you want to know.
By this I want to say, of course we are watched and you can not do anything in secret. But for a normal human being, that goes to work every day and pay the bill, I think it doesn’t matter. For the gangsters and these peoples who are illegal, I can not se any problems with the Big-Brother syndrome, then it is a god system that make us more safety. But also remember, much of these enormous changes, have we built by our self.
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Dear Louise,
SvaraRaderaAs to the topic of your text, you have a thesis statement where you talk about new options for people. You deal with different options in the body of the text, but when it comes to the concluding paragraph, you suddenly start talking about the BB syndrome that hasn’t been in focus since paragraph 2. Don’t let yourself be carried away and try to deal with two topics – choose either BB or new technological options, or write about them in a way that makes the reader see the connection. Also, make sure the thesis statement really covers your intended topic. Otherwise, you dela with one idea per paragraph, which is good. In paragraph 4 you have a case of half-paragraphing, which must be avoided.
As to language, there are a number of things that need to be pointed out. In “all terror attacks, that has been occurred” you have a subject-verb agreement error, but also, you should delete the auxiliary “been”. That sentence is also a sentence fragment.There are other subject-verb agreement errors, e.g. in “This cyber-space world we are living in right now, allow”. In “24 hours per day, all day long” you say the same thing twice. Avoid that! In “new options for the peoples” you talk about people in general and therefore there shouldn’t be a definite article. The same thing goes for “saved in the space”. Also, the plural form of “people” means “folkslag” (comp. §24). You make a number of spelling mistakes, e.g. in “sell-phone”. Also, note the difference between “talking” and “taking”. Make sure not to use Swedish words, as “pip”. In “by ones the BB know” I guess you mean ” at once BB knows” (several types of mistakes!). You can’t say that you are “under watching”, say “under surveillance” instead. Rather than “in some how” you say “in some way” or “somehow”. Not the difference between “for 50 years” and “50 years ago” (§264). You should write “anyway”, “everyone”, and “nowadays”. I don’t really understand what you mean by “This enormous developing that has built”, but in any case the noun you want is “development”. Rather than “others life” you should write “other people’s lives”. In “no one didn’t care” you have a double negation which is non-standard English and must be avoided.
Keep it up!
Best,
Marika